So it's Tuesday, which means it's time for Tuesday Tales. I had already planned the topic for this week's post but when it came to sitting down and writing, I just wasn't feeling it. So instead this week's post is about houses. This might sound like a bit of a strange topic, but bear with me..
Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been fascinated with houses. I dreamed about living in my own place, decorating it, putting in my own furniture and making it my own. I dreamed about owning my own house, somewhere warm and safe. My obsession with homes and houses stemmed from the house that I grew up in, and the fact that it wasn't warm, and that sometimes it wasn't safe. My childhood home was a house my parents bought as a total renovation project, but when they separated less than two years later my Mum just didn't have the money to do any of the work.
The house was cold because we didn't have central heating, and after a couple of years we had to have the gas fires shut off because of carbon monoxide leaking. We were burgled a few times which meant that one of the doors had to be boarded up because we didn't have the money to fix it. The lights in the bathroom and the kitchen broke because of an electrical fault but we made do, the shower was broken for a few years so we had to take baths, and during the holidays of my first year of Uni my bedroom ceiling caved in.
This sounds ridiculous, I know. Even writing this up I know it seems absurd and strange and it's probably something not many of you can relate to. But despite all its failings, it was (and still is) my home. Even now it's the place I go when I need to take some time and figure out things - because it's where my Mum is. Things have started to change now because there's a bit more money flowing in and obviously the fact that I now have a full time job has helped, but it's still not a 'dream home' by most people's standards. In my head, my dream home is a double fronted, detached house with high ceilings, period features and an acre or two of land that sprawls out around it. But in reality? I count my blessings every single morning that I wake up in my flat in London, which is warm, safe, secure, and beautiful. I never in my life dreamed that I would find myself in a place like this, and I am blessed that I have. I never take this for granted.
Things could have ended up very different for me, and they still might. It's easy to assume things about personas on the internet, especially in such a fickle industry as beauty. I'm sure the majority of you reading this did not expect to log on to Bee's Knees today to find this post, but I think that's important. I think it's important that you know that I wasn't always a nail polish addict, and lipstick isn't the only thing I ever think about. I have responsibilities because of where I came from, and I take them very seriously. I take my finances pretty seriously too (despite what you might think from reading my weekly spending diary), and I don't spend money without thinking.
I hope one day I will be able to buy my own house, and raise children there that feel warm and safe and secure. It's my dream that the house I raise my children in will also be home to my Mum, so we can be together all the time! Who knows what the future holds? What I do know is that the days of shivering in my bed wearing three sets of pajamas and gloves are over, and I am so grateful for that.